there will always be evil

I going back to a stage on my life that I hate. People have soo much expectation from me, its hard. It is. People see me in a way that I wish they didnt. People think Im like this ubely duper smart person, but im not. When I tell people the mark I get they are SOOOO surprised. I've lost alll energy to work. I just want to go away, really far away. I want to go back to a time where life was carefree. A life where I dont have to grow up. Why cant I just be a kid forever? I feel like nobody in my life right now care about me. All my friends have best friends but I dont. Nobody knows me. I feel like a lot of people hate me. I feel like my personality is ugly. I hate stress. I want to go away, far far away. I dont want to be here. I have these feelings of wakeless dream, where I am peaceful asleep. I need an escape. I want to break free. If only this, or if only that. Im tired of being down. I need an escape. I need a real escape. And not shows that temporarily take me away for 30-60 minuites. I cant do this anymore. I WANT SOMEONE TO TALK TO. I want someone real. someone who can help me. Someone who can take this pain away. I feel soo alone.